Here are men who drink their own weight in beer,
Women not quite so much, but pretty near.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
People live on whippet pasties and fags
And carry totem coal in plastic bags.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Public service serves the corporate good;
Tescopolis rises where Gateshead stood.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Old folk songs are sung in this corporate age,
Preserved behind glass, safely in the Sage.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Once its own Gospels are reinstated,
Lindisfarne will be illuminated.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Mention unemployment, Westminster squirms;
North East still bears the curse of loathsome wyrms.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Artists of Ashington, portrayed as quaint,
Their images glossed with dramatic paint.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Leisure and party-time have set folk free,
Are shopping malls new hives of liberty?
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Hiking Cheviot high above the fields,
Curlews soaring, adders nipping at your heels.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Morpeth Gathering, folk speaking in tongues,
Drone of pipes and unaccompanied songs.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
At The Bridge Hotel sits a motley cast,
Quietly haunted by Tyneside poets past.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
By St.James’ and Stadium of Light the
Rivers Tyne and Wear flow into the same sea.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Should Scotland opt for petty national pride
Might peles and bastles once more see reivers ride?
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Woodthorne and Beamish, rebuilding the past;
How far into the future can this past last?
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Durham Cathedral’s weighty sacred stones,
Built on foundations of a single saint’s bones.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
At Big Meetings miners once vented their rage;
For years there’ve been no mines, only heritage.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
The Great North Road leads the way south, and yet
Those who leave don’t do so without regret.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
There are droll tales told of Northumbria!
There are small tales told of Northumbria!
There are old tales told of Northumbria!
There are bold tales told of Northumbria!
Those who leave don’t do so without regret.
There are tall tales told of Northumbria!
Dave Alton
